Venerable Tenpa Bejanke Duim，勇敢向澳洲The Canberra Times坎培拉時報揭露秋達喇嘛的不倫修行。他與多名女性發生性關係，並因此公開向社會道歉（請見2011年5月1日坎培拉時報報導：澳洲秋達喇嘛為雙修公開道歉）。 秋達喇嘛在道歉中說，每個人都會犯錯。事實上，不是他犯錯，而是雙修本來就是藏傳佛教／喇嘛教／西藏密宗的根本大法，他應該向大眾道歉的是：藏傳佛教危害 世人、侵犯女性的雙身法！這篇文章是Venerable Tenpa Bejanke Duim接受non-duality magazine的訪問，文內有她更為詳盡的說明。
© non-duality magazine, July 2011
© Down the Crooked Path: Venerable Tenpa Bejanke Duim
Venerable Tenpa Bejanke Duim
Interview with non duality magazine. July 2011
Venerable Tenpa Bejanke has spent the last nine years in a tumultuous relationship with Buddhism. In late 2003 she ordained as a nun in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. In mid-2005 she moved interstate to Canberra, Australia to further her learning and by Christmas that year, had the realisation that to make a real and lasting difference within herself she would need to make a wholehearted commitment to her practice. She therefore decided to undertake a three and a half year solitary retreat commencing in November 2006 and exiting at the end of April 2010.
While the retreat offered plenty of opportunity to grow, it was re-entering into society that would provide the biggest challenge. She is one of the women who recently reported to the Canberra Times the unethical behaviour of a highly respected teacher named Lama Choedak, a Rinpoche, (precious one) the Spiritual Director of SLCD and the founder of Sakya International Buddhist Academy. Lama Choedak is the Spiritual Director or visiting teacher at fifteen other Tibetan Buddhist communities in various states of Australia as well as a community in New Zealand.
NDM: What are your thoughts on His Holiness the Dalai Lama's letter from 1994?
He says: "Our first responsibility as Buddhists is to work towards creating a better world for all forms of life. The promotion of Buddhism as a religion is a secondary concern. Kindness and compassion, the furthering of peace and harmony, as well as tolerance and respect for other religions, should be the three guiding principles of our actions"
Ven Tenpa Bejanke Duim: I am practicing kindness and compassion as best I can in a pastoral capacity. I volunteer at a large hospital on what is called the General Team; I visit those patients who have no specific religion, as well as any Buddhist patients. The Hospice is Catholic and I visit those patients who wish to talk irrespective of religion, and I don’t especially visit as a Buddhist, I am there as the spiritual friend who walks beside the patient. I try to have no agenda except to be as present as I can be and to listen emphatically.
The teacher who has guided me to further develop my spiritual insight over the last eight months is a Catholic woman. I gained an understanding of guru devotion in retreat; however, it is to her as my teacher in Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) that I first had an experience of guru devotion. As I walked beside her trying to thank her for all her hard work, I realised that I was experiencing what was within me, she was this wonderful role model who was allowing me to know myself. I know she doesn’t want my devotion, so I silently appreciate her for what she is teaching me, and this is that all beings are my guru/teacher. Everyone has something to teach me about myself if I am present and aware.
NDM: Ok, on the next part of this letter, he states:
In the West, where so many different Buddhist traditions exist side by side, one needs to be constantly on one's guard against the dangers of sectarianism. Such a divisive attitude is often the result of failing to understand or appreciate anything outside of one's own tradition. Teachers from all schools would therefore benefit greatly from studying and gaining some practical experience of the teachings of other traditions.
Ven Tenpa Bejanke Duim: I’m all for interfaith communication and where possible I attend the Interfaith Forum meetings in my area. I have spoken with a monk from the Thai Forest Tradition about staying with their community for a brief visit to get some advice on my meditation, he was very helpful. One friend has been to sit with a Zen community, she really enjoys it, and I too would like to pay them a visit and just sit. Christian friends on the Pastoral Care Team also recommend places such as a Benedictine Monastery, where, they reassure me, I would be welcome to sit for a while in a sacred place.
NDM: Ok, What about this part on teachers?
Teachers should be open to beneficial influences from secular and other religious traditions. For example, the insights and techniques of contemporary psychotherapy can often be of great value in reducing suffering experienced by students. At the same time, efforts to develop psychologically oriented practices from within the existing Buddhist traditions should be encouraged.
Ven Tenpa Bejanke Duim: For myself, and what I recommend to others are the psychology books by long term western Buddhist practitioners who understand the Buddhist concepts and translate it for the western way of thinking. The book by John Welwood,Toward a Psychology of Awakening I’ve had for many years and more recently from Tara Bennett-Goleman Emotional Alchemy, because for myself, I have never accepted that the dharma was the be all and end all panacea for everything. I feel that western psychological help combined with Buddhist mindfulness practices from an experienced professional can be beneficial in promoting well-being and spiritual understanding. And what an individual needs for growth is very personal. I found in retreat at the 2½ year mark the thing that helped me the most to get grounded was The Lord of the Rings, it was the only non-dharma book that I read. For a month during breaks in my practice, I read and watched The Lord of the Rings continuously, there was friendship, steadfastness, justice, morality, fear, anger, pathos and love, it blew my mind. Tolkien said to never give up as you never knew what was around the corner, and his words kept me going.
There are many other books that I have read along the way, such as Jack Kornfield, PemaChodron, Sharon Salzburg, Surya Das, Bhikkhu Bodhi and so on, and for me they bring the dharma to life in my mind, I understand it better. I use these books for the healing and understanding of myself, I suppose this is my way of trying to be the dharma, about Buddhism itself, I know very little beyond the basics.
NDM: And this part on students selecting a teacher?
An individual's position as a teacher arises in dependence on the request of his or her students, not simply being appointed as such by a higher authority. Great care must therefore be exercised by the student in selecting an appropriate teacher. Sufficient time must be given to making this choice, which should be based on personal investigation, reason and experience. Students should be warned against the dangers of falling prey to charisma, charlatanism or exoticism.
Ven Tenpa Bejanke Duim: Yes, this is true and there is a lot more to Lama Choedak’s (LC) background than what I know of. Suffice to say that there are some people who knew him 15-20 years ago who are very disappointed in his actions today, but they don’t tell anyone.
LC is a charismatic teacher, he also appears as modest and sincere, and many people were and still are very happy with what he teaches and how he teaches. I found a lot of what he communicated very beneficial and I don’t deny that it did help me to understand the dharma to a certain degree.
Over time I observed how other students related to him and many were very reverential. I couldn’t do that to their extent, something in me just rebelled at giving over that much of myself. And quite frankly, I did work my guts out for Sakya LosalChoeDzong (SLCD) and the dharma; however, it was on my terms, I was respectful but stubborn. I knew so little about Buddhism, I just knew it was where I was supposed to be. So I did investigate as best I could, there were all of these respectful monks and nuns and many lay people doing his bidding, so it all looked good to my beginner’s eyes.
I visited the Centres in Melbourne and Canberra and I also went on a retreat and pilgrimage to India and Nepal with LC, and I observed his work ethic at these times. There was not one whiff of scandal in Australia; however, there was a monk in Nepal in 2004, who told me that LC was, “Bad news and that I should leave SLCD.” I was nonplussed and mentioned this to a nun, she said, “Don’t worry about it he’s just being silly,” so I jumped on board for the ride.
And then it is so hard to warn people once you have exposed the dark side, the “cult of personality,” as I have heard it called. You are not to gossip and if you do you are told that you will be cast into one of the lowest hells for causing a schism. So people leave, they just walk away from SLCD to another tradition or as some people have done, from Buddhism altogether.
I had a conversation with one woman who brought LC’s state of affairs to HHST when he was here in Australia in 2009, and she told me, “He just didn’t want to know.”
So how do you warn the vulnerable when the hierarchy is unable or unwilling to help? Is this too big a problem even for the Tibetans? Do we, as new practitioners of Buddhism, not want to see the faults because we think that at last we have found the perfect salvation for our lives? Are we so starry eyed from HHDL’s halo that we become too trusting? Do our wounded hearts push all cautions aside in the wish to belong to a faith that comes from Shangri-La?
NDM: What about the next part on the sexual misconduct of teachers and scandals?
Particular concern was expressed about unethical conduct among teachers. In recent years both Asian and Western teachers have been involved in scandals concerning sexual misconduct with their students, abuse of alcohol and drugs, misappropriation of funds, and misuse of power. This has resulted in widespread damage both to the Buddhist community and the individuals involved. Each student must be encouraged to take responsible measures to confront teachers with unethical aspects of their conduct. If the teacher shows no sign of reform, students should not hesitate to publicize any unethical behaviour of which there is irrefutable evidence. This should be done irrespective of other beneficial aspects of his or her work and of one's spiritual commitment to that teacher. It should also be made clear in any publicity that such conduct is not in conformity with Buddhist teachings. No matter what level of spiritual attainment a teacher has, or claims to have, reached, no person can stand above the norms of ethical conduct. In order for the Buddhadharma not to be brought into disrepute and to avoid harm to students and teachers, it is necessary that all teachers at least live by the five lay precepts. In cases where ethical standards have been infringed, compassion and care should be shown towards both teacher and student.
Ven Tenpa Bejanke Duim: LC’s behaviour was first brought publicly to light in mid-2009, when he mistakenly sent a text message to a nun instead of one of his lovers. What followed then were lies and cover-ups as some of LC’s students then, as they have now, convinced him not to admit to anything.
LC emphasises the Ngondro practices to his students, he stresses that they are vitally important. The entire Ngondro practice is done every Sunday morning at the Centre and in part with Chenrezigon a Wednesday evening at the Centre. I completed my Ngondro commitment in retreat, and knowing how much the Ngondro practice meant to LC, I decided to transcribe and edit together two Easter Ngondro Retreats into a book as a further part of my retreat practice, it took two years or thereabouts to complete. LC talked extensively at those retreats on vows and commitments and has then failed to live by those vows himself.
A Teacher/Lama who sits upon a high throne and actively advocates the dharma, has I feel, an obligation to make a serious effort to live by the Buddha’s precepts. If he/she fails to do so, then, in my belief, they should humbly ask for forgiveness from those that feel betrayed, instead of trying to hide their initial misconduct with ongoing lies. As one of LC’s friends said to me, “I have known the man for fifteen years,” and I replied, “And he has lied to you for seven of them.”
A conversation between a committee member and a concerned observer in November 2010:
“A Committee member then went on to talk about it being inappropriate to judge LC by the same standards of behaviour that we generally expect of others. I asked why – was this because he was enlightened, because he had declared that he was not. The committee member couldn’t answer the question.”
NDM: Lama Choedak Rinpoche said that “we all needed to consider what was in the best interests of his three children”. What are your thoughts on this?
Ven Tenpa Bejanke Duim:LC has mentioned that he would like his privacy and that of his children respected. I only wish he had thought of their interests before he began his secret affairs, because it is believed by some members that LC has used his family as an excuse not to have these affairs revealed. LC said at both the ChenrezigTsog and at a committee meeting, “That people needed to refrain themselves from further attempts to hold him accountable because of his children.” We are to refrain ourselves from speaking out and seeking clarity, although LC has appeared to make no attempt to restrain himself from participating in multiple concurrent sexual liaisons.
LC had the chance in 2009 to confess to all three relationships, (he only confessed to two at this time) apologise, make amends, and then take a sabbatical, he didn’t. He continued in his activities and now we are still dealing with this matter two years down the track. And I will say here, it is LC’s actions that are being criticised and not his teachings.
Myself and the many other people that I have spoken to have said, “If only LC had apologised genuinely for his unskilful actions right from the beginning, I would have accepted his apology.” No one is perfect and if LC’s marriage was unhappy he does have the right to move on, albeit not with his students. However, it was due to his lack of true remorse and ownership for his actions that some of us felt compelled to press for a more meaningful apology on behalf of ourselves and those that had experienced such great disillusionment and disgust.
NDM: When you say “us”, how many of you felt this way? Was it a couple of you or more? Did the men/monks also feel this way or was it just primarily the nuns?
Ven. Tenpa Bejanke Duim: It was a fairly radical group to begin with, as we were all hurt, disappointed and angry to some degree. We always left the door open to welcome anyone else who was concerned about the direction SLCD was taking.
Gradually over the months, some people dropped out and others came in. In the end, there was a core group of mainly women, and I being the only ordained member, who would regularly get together to discuss what could be done to make SLCD more transparent, open and communicative. I am the only nun in Canberra who is still residing with SLCD and who is openly questioning LC’s behaviour. Some western nuns, not here in Canberra, have withdrawn their support and remained nuns, others have disrobed and left and at least one nun that I know of actively supports LC.
We became a good support group for each other, and there was always some form of emotional support for someone who was struggling. This support was extraordinarily beneficial, as it allowed members, as the need arose, to express their emotions in a safe and mostly understanding environment. We also brought different ideas and divergent views. This at times was challenging, and we learned to negotiate through our differences, not always skilfully, but we heard each other out and remained friends.
At a recent meeting between ‘the group’ and SLCD, one gentleman said that he was ‘disgusted’ at the behaviour of LC and as a man he found his actions' disgusting.’ He would attend the Centre but never again to hear LC teach. He is the first man that I know of that has openly expressed this kind of opinion about LC to the committee. I am not privy to any calls or correspondence that has been sent to SLCD. And in some instances, correspondence concerning this issue that has been sent to the committee to be discussed has not been tabled, as it has been deemed ‘irrelevant,’ ‘possibly inappropriate,’ ‘unnecessary, and ‘it would cause too much work.’
Part of one such letter that was asked to be tabled and wasn’t in October 2010.
“Let us remember what is at stake. Your organisation is attracting many beginners to the spiritual path. These people are just warming to spirituality in many cases. It does not take much to push them back into the world with a disgust for spirituality and it may take a very long time (even lifetimes) to recover and seek the source anew. I know I would not want to be responsible for something like that.
Having said all this, please know that the local non-Buddhist community is perceiving current SIBA (Sakya International Buddhist Academy) events with despair, disgust or great amusement, depending on where they are coming from.”
I have other male friends who have found his behaviour to be beyond the pale, they have left SLCD and have sought spiritual guidance elsewhere. As far as I am aware only one monk has publicly withdrawn his support, there may be others that I am unaware of.
NDM: Why do you feel that there was no remorse and ownership for his actions? Why was he laying blame on others? Can you please give me a specific example of him doing this?
Ven Tenpa Bejanke Duim: What confirmed my belief that there was no true remorse or ownership of his actions was at a committee meeting where LC’s actions were brought to the attention of the members. When questioned about his misconduct one answer from LC was, “Well what was I supposed to do women keep on throwing themselves at me.” One woman who had heard something about his past actions stated, “I’m so glad you lied to me, I don’t think I could’ve handled the truth.” I know of others that he has lied to and when confronted with the evidence of his lying he has still continued to deny any wrongdoing.
When I said to LC,“ I no longer consider you as my teacher,” he replied, “I don’t have any students.” I know of people who have asked him especially to be their teacher and he accepted that role.
From a member at a committee meeting 27th October 2010
