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MeToo:Memoir on my First Actual Sexual Relationship with the Karmapa

Memoir on my First Actual Sexual Relationship

with the Karmapa

(WuHangYee ,a brave woman and victim of Karmapa )

Here, I would like to explain the causes, the process and the influences of the first sexual relationship with Karmapa.

First of all, I’d like to describe the remote causes and proximate causes of the first actual sexual relationship with the Karmapa.

1-Remote causes

1-1-Blind Faith to the Karmapa

In 2000, the 17th Karmapa Orgyen Trinley Dorje left Tibet for India in exile in order to promote the Dharma to the world. It is said that the Karmapa is the incarnation of the Guru Rinpoche, the embodiment of the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, and the sixth Buddha of the eon, the Buddha named Lion Roar. I have deeply believed in it. At that time, in my heart, Karmapa was my eternal spiritual companion. Although I have never seen him in person, I trusted him completely. In July 2011, I decided to resign from my teaching career and go to India to find the Karmapa, the most important person in my life. In the Gyuto Tantric Monastery, Dharmsala, India, I never thought it was that easy to meet him. When I met the Karmapa, I prostrated three times and I expressed my wish to be a nun. Karmapa did not object to my idea of being a nun. After several meetings, we talked for half an hour in the library of the Gyuto Tantric Monastery. Karmapa asked me to give him my phone number.

1-2- Karmapa Initiatively Made Phone Calls

I went back to Sarah College, at 8 o’clock the next morning, Karmapa called me. His first sentence was “The weather was bad last night.” I knew it was he. When I wanted to say “Fa Wang (Dharma King in its meaning),” He immediately told me not to speak out and call his name. At that time, I said, “Now, I have to go to class. You can call again tomorrow, thank you.” After that, I shared this happy news with a German female classmate. At the same time the next day, he called and said, “It is best not to tell others.” He asked me to go to Dharamsala to buy an Internet bar and asked me to connect to the Internet, and then I bought it. He called and asked me to download Skype. He told me his account number is soul.boy.99

1-3-Karmapa Dominated Virtual Sex

We connected with each other by Skype video call, and we were in our rooms where no one else was around, like two people spending time together alone. The first sentence he asked me was: “When did you start falling in love with me?” “What?” I thought that was a religious love, but not a secular love. I said, “I don't have a worldly love to you. I trusted you in religious love. You are my guru.” We talked on the topics regarding how many brothers and sisters there were, but suddenly he asked me if I had a boyfriend. He said that he did not have sex before. In the United States, there was only a girl with blonde hair kissed on his right cheek. It seemed that he was very dissatisfied with the constraints on sex. After talking for a long time, he fell back on the bed, raised his hands and legs and made a rolling action, indicating that he was miserable and not free. He suddenly made a request: “Can you take off your clothes?” Based on the love, respect and faith to a Tantric Master, I did not hesitate to unclothe, and then he also stripped off and we saw each other. He wanted me to use my left hand to touch my secret part and imagine that my hand was his. He asked if I was comfortable. He also masturbated himself. I wondered why he masturbated in front of me and weather he fell in love with me. If it was a secular love, I wanted to persuade him not to do so, but I thought he might need to decompress. We talked for a long time that night. After the cyber sex, we finally shut down the computer and we went to sleep in our own places separately.

From 2011 to 2015, there has been around ten times of video or phone sex. These virtual sex had its own sequences. The most complete one is as follows: First, he asks the woman to lie down and take off all the clothes. He tells the woman to imagine his face, and he kisss the woman’s face, and kiss the ears, kiss the neck, kiss the chest, kiss the breasts. He told the woman to use her own saliva to rub on her nipples, then imagine that he kiss the navel, using saliva to rub on the navel, and then imagine that he slowly “put in”, then he wants me to “moan”, every time when I couldn’t make a sound, he helps, “Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ah…” Then, he says “Hurry up”, then says he hugs, kiss, and when it is done, he usually says, “Sleep well” or “Sleep early”, and “Good night.” Once, in 2015, he also taught me how to masturbate, i.e. to insert a middle finger of my right hand. I said at that time: “There are nails, I am afraid of getting hurt.” He asked me to cut my nails first. He used video call to demonstrate how to touch a targeted place with a middle finger after inserting in. Later, I queried online and researched, and I found that place was called G-spot.

1-4-Karmapa Gave Girl Gifts

Since then, we have used Skype to maintain the relationship. Although I shaved to be a nun in March 2012, the relationship has not been terminated. The Coral rosary that the Karmapa gave me is not only a token of love, but also a religious blessing.

Although the Karmapa did not encourage me to learn vinaya, with his encouragement, I have tried to study Tibetan language and Dharma in India and Nepal. I started studying at Thrangu Tara Abbey in Nepal since 2014. After being positioned at the third place from the exam, I continued my studies there. After the Kathmandu Earthquake in Nepal in 2015, I experienced a barefoot escape from the third floor to the ground. After the quake, I lived in a tent with large groups of nuns, and the living conditions there were extremely bad. Karmapa sent a message: “Go back to Hong Kong first”. After returning to Hong Kong for half a year, Karmapa ordered me to return to Nepal. In 2016, I went to India with the nunnery nuns and I met the Karmapa. He gave me a box of Vitamin C and a colorful wooden top spinning with the six-syllable mantra painted.

In 2017, I attended Kagyu Monlam Prayers Gathering in Bodhgaya. For a period of time, he arranged me to work around him every day to help him write Refuge card. In March 2017, I was in poor health. I left India for Hong Kong to rest and I lived in a Buddhist temple of Chinese Mahayana tradition. In my life up until that moment, I felt that, on one hand, he was a compassionate guru. On the other hand, I felt that he has personal love and affection to me, but it was the cause creating my rational and emotional contradictions.

1-5- Karmapa Did Not Contact me as Promised

Since the Karmapa called me in March 2017, I have not received any messages from him. He knew that I lived in the temple, and said that I was very great. I didn’t know how great it was. That was just my karmic relationship with Chinese Mahayana Buddhism. Before I got in touch with Tibetan Buddhism, I had come in touch with Chinese Mahayana Buddhism. On May 8, 2017, Karmapa made two Skype phone calls to me at 1:02AM and 1:14AM in Hong Kong time, but no one spoke to me and that were hung up. There was no more news from him since then. Days passed day after day, I sent him messages to report everything as before, but he had no responses, but I did not forget him, and my heart was mixed in feelings and was hurt. I began to doubt his love and commitment, that he promised to connect with me every day and loved me forever and that him will be there for everything.

When I haven’t received any messages from the Karmapa, I still kept sending messages, but still I didn’t hear anything from him. So, I thought about breaking up our abnormal relationship, and I vowed to be Bhikshuni, to guard the disciplines, and to be a true Sangha member. I aspired not to get into the indulgence in this love craving, and vowed to break up with him.

1-6- Karmapa Did Not Allow Me to Take Nun Vows

On February 16, 2018, on the first day of the Lunar New Year, I finally got news from the Karmapa. My Dharma friend, Baoguan, told Karmapa about my request of taking the bhikshuni vows, and asked him to sign on the filled application form for taking bhikshuni vows. I was waiting for his signature in Hong Kong, but that wish to be fully ordained was shattered. Karmapa did not agree with me for taking up the precepts.

1-7- Karmapa Summoned Me to the United States

The Karmapa summoned me to the United States, and said that the sooner the better, and that he had not received my messages in that year. By coincident, a Dharma friend of mine, Wanda, wanted me to take her to see the Dharma King. She sponsored me round tickets to go to America. At that time, I found a person called Tashi, who was working as computer engineer for the King, to help me pass the message to the King. The King also asked Tashi to send a message saying that it was right for me to stay in KTD. So, Wanda and I applied for a US visa. At the end of March, we arrived in New York.

1-8- Karmapa Flirting with Girls

My friend Wanda and I have just arrived at KTD. At 12 o’clock in the evening, I received a message from the staff of the Dharma King, Tashi, saying that the King told me to go to a lake house in Mohegan Lake at 8 am the next morning. We waited until about 1 pm in the Lake House, and the King came out to eat. He asked me to sit down with my friend at the table where he was eating. My friend and I sat on his right hand; he sat in the chairman seat. He ate vegetarian food and Cordyceps. Bottles of a vitamin B and a Chinese medicine pills were put next to it. Karmapa talked to us while eating. My friend was sitting a little farer, but her left ear is deaf. He first asked who my friend was. My friend couldn’t hear the words of the King. So I spoke loudly to transfer the words between them.

The Karmapa suddenly stopped chewing and gave me a gesture to draw me get close to him. He said to me with a very gentle voice: “You used to disobey me. You should listen to me later on.” Karmapa meant that when he told me not to be nun, but I didn’t obey. After the meal, Karmapa let us get on their car and follow his team to New York City. We first went to a showroom with his staff to see the Benz Seven.

Then we went to a house in Whitestone. I had nothing to do and sat in a corner in the kitchen, sitting on a chair and meditating cross-legged. Suddenly, he took away my glasses and put them on. My friend Wanda saw it and was astounded. Karmapa told me how to fold and place my nun dress under my legs when I meditate, and then he demonstrated the way of folding dress for meditation. When I saluted him with my palms placed together, he wrapped my hands with his both hands. Then, Karmapa went to the kitchen and played the Bingo Chess Game with a Beijing young girl, named Ashley, and I was meditating nearby. While Karmapa was playing bingo chess game with Ashley, he turned to talk to me.

I asked him, “How have you been recently?”

He said: “Still ok.”

I asked him, “Have you recently...”

I wanted to ask him if he has had masturbation recently, and ask him if he has had a girlfriend recently. The reason I wanted to ask these questions was that he always masturbated when he was online having cyber sex, and he said that I was his “girlfriend”. But I didn’t dare utter the words out at that time. So I went to bathroom and continued to meditate.

Later, the Karmapa held my hand and we went into the hall, and the people sitting in the hall all walked away, leaving us both. He asked me to sit beside him and gently asked a question to my ear: “Have you ever missed me?” I said aloud: “Yes!” He forbade me to speak out loud. Then I sighed: “But that person has died.” What I meant was he used to be absent because he had not contacted me for a year. After that, we went to dine in Private Kitchen, but it kept a group of around ten people led by the Karmapa to have waited for more than 5 minutes at the door, so the Karmapa stopped waiting anymore. My friend said the King was angry. The Dharma King took the group of people walking on the cold streets. It was the first time in my life that I followed the Karmapa and his team on the street in the dark night. At about 10 o’clock in the evening, we haven’t eaten yet. We went to the One Hotel. At the entrance of the hotel, there was a group of nuns and the devotees holding hata, greeting white scarfs, welcoming and waiting for the King. The Karmapa’s face changed suddenly. The Karmapa finally let Wanda and I stay in our hotel rooms to “call the room service to eat”. I felt tired, so I went back to my room and rested.

1-9-Girls Stupidly fell into Emotional Trap

In the hotel, I thought of the oath I took on March 11, 2018 that I would return the coral rosary, which was Karmapa’s original belonging, to the King. At that time, I knew that I should be a bhikshuni well in the future, so I shall return that rosary to him. I thought I should break up with him and so I decided to return the coral rosary the next time I see him. At that time, I thought I would be able to let it go from my heart after returning the rosary to him. At that time, I thought: we would go our own ways in future. So on March 28, 2018, at KTD, I returned the coral rosary to him and said, “I help you!” My friend saw the Karmapa was stunned at the time. He told us a date, and later, Wanda and I went to see to him again.

On March 30, 2018, he asked me to wait for him to come back at the lake house. I asked him when he would return. He replied me: “After an hour.” That moment, I thought that was impossible. He would for sure come back when the sun goes down. He also let Ashley stay in the lake house waiting for him to come back. The Beijing girl was then in a bad mood. When she watched TV while she is typing on her mobile phone, I thought she might probably be sending messages to him. I thought she should have been going out with him. I waited in the lake house until the sun went down, and Karmapa came back very late. He said that he went to meet guests, so he came back late.

At about 8 pm on March 30, 2018, Karmapa brought my friend Wanda and I to enter his private house where he lived. He closed the door and there were only three of us in the house. My friend asked him questions for Dharma. After that, Karmapa asked me what questions I had. I was speechless. The Karmapa suddenly interrupted me and said, “You skirt is not dressed correctly.” I asked, “How is it wrong?” He said, “This is not right to dress like that.” I asked, “How should I wear it?” Then he let me get into his bedroom.

In his bedroom, I saw a tall big bed and his underwear hung up on the wall. In the room, we untied the belt. He showed me how to wear the skirt. I still didn't know how to fold correctly. I asked him, “How to wear?”He helped me fold the skirt behind me and then fastened up the belt tightly. He then gently hugged me from my back. I turned around to hold him, and we started to kiss. I asked him, “Do you have any other girlfriends?” He didn’t answer me. I asked him a few times. He didn't answer. Suddenly he said that he was going out. His so-called busyness was to go to the kitchen to cook vegetables. When he almost reached to the kitchen, he said, “The moon is beautiful tonight.” Then, someone immediately took pictures of the moon and showed them to the King.

What I saw next was that Ashley cried secretly, and my intuition told me that there was an unusual relationship between them, and I wondered why the King had let Ashley go to the lake house every day. After that, the Karmapa and Ashley cooked together. I also wanted to help cook, and Karmapa said to me, “You know it? You don’t know how to cook.” He was consoling Ashley and wanted me to get away. Seeing them stand closely together and whispering softly, I walked away to watch TV. Later, I went into the kitchen to see him again. He was still standing very closely to Ashley. I sat next to him and help him get the mushroom rolls wrapped.

That night, I asked him why he didn’t reply my messages last year. He said, “I didn’t receive it.” I asked him, “Are you not replying deliberately?” He shook his head and said, “No.” “You didn’t want to contact me?” Then he suddenly put on a poor ghost crying face.

That night, he told me that he wouldn’t cook dishes often, and we just ate it once, and we wouldn’t have a chance to eat it later. I sat down, and my opposite was Ashley. The King was eating in the distant chairman seat. The dishes of green vegetables fried by the King have been put on for a long time and have turned yellow. I found it hard to eat, but I must eat it. At that time, I thought that was a blessing of a Guru, and I must finish it. When I was eating, he criticized me with Ashley loudly: “What do you think she is practicing?! She practices emptiness! Both her hands are empty!!!” His words made me regret to return his rosary. Then he kept saying that I was “the richest Ani in Hong Kong.” In fact, I didn’t have any savings at all. How much cash I had with me was all I had. I haven’t even had a credit card. And he said that I was “empty-handed”. That was ironic that I had neither money nor coral rosary. At that time my mood was disturbed by his words and behavior. Karmapa arranged hotel rooms for Wanda and me since it was very late. Because my thoughts and feelings were too confusingly mixed, I couldn’t sleep that night.

1-10- Karmapa is pleased to Provoke Girls

The next day, on March 31, 2018, in the morning, my friend and I went to the lake house again. That morning, I saw my coral rosary with the mala bag was on the eating table. Their vegetable juice dripped down onto the bag of the rosary. I asked my friend: “Why is my rosary here?” My friend said: “The King has given this rosary to Ashley. It was already in her hands yesterday. Didn’t you see it?”

I thought this rosary was what I have kept for six years. Although it was the only rosary that he wore on his neck from Tibet to India, for the past six years, I have worn it. So it belongs to me, I thought. I used this rosary even when my Grand-grandmother died. Although it was a token of love, I also regarded it as a spiritual blessing from a Buddha. From time to time, this rosary accompanied me going everywhere, to India, Nepal and other places, accompanied me across the edge of death. Immediately, I took away the coral rosary from the table and put it in my bag.

At about one o’clock in the afternoon, the King came out to have brunch. When I saw him, I said to him, “I have already taken back the coral rosary.” He then said, “You can’t take it back.” When he sat down to eat, he let me sit down and I began to cry. I said, “ I regret it. Now I don’t want to give you back the rosary. It has been with me for so many years.” All the staff of the King, including Ashley, looked at me.

I said, “I think you have already changed.”

He said: “I think you have changed.”

What I could do was crying and my tears were falling.

He said, “Ah. You didn’t sleep last night. There are dark circles.”

I only kept crying.

The King suddenly stopped eating. He left his seat, rose up and walked into his house. When he came back, he took two things out of his hands and said that he would exchange the rosary in my bag with those two things, one is a string of new coral rosary, and the other is a watch he has worn for a long time.

Karmapa said: “This coral rosary is very expensive and better than the old one.” But I didn’t want to return his old coral rosary. The watch belt was too loose. He used a fork to adjust the length of the watch belt, and helped me with wearing it on my wrist. He then said “impermanence.” I still didn’t want to return his old coral rosary.

He went on saying, “This rosary is exchanged into three gifts. The first one is the new coral rosary; the second one is the watch; and as for the third one, I will give it to you tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.” After all, I still didn’t want to return his rosary. So, he commanded his Tashi to take my bag. Tashi listened to him and took my bag to his Majesty.

The King wanted to open my bag, so I shouted and said: “No. This is America. I have privacy. Do not open my bag.” I defend my rosary with all my life energy. So I snatched the bag with him. Tashi couldn’t help the Majesty. The King almost had to fall back with the chair, but fortunately Tashi saved the Majesty and supported the King. Everyone at the scene was stunned.

The King’s eyes widened up looking towards me and said, “You are very bold.” I said, “How can you give it to others?” He said, “I didn’t give it, just to lend it for use.” I said, “You promised me. Don’t give it to others in the future.” He promised me. I said, “You swear.” He raised his eyes and looked up at me. He said, “You are very bold.” He said, “Well, you don’t give it back to me. I don't talk to you.”

So, I had to grab that string of historically valuable rosary from my backpack and give it to him. But as for the mala bag, I did not return to him. The King gave me that bag together with Adarshah Gangkyur USB in 2017. So, I only took back the rosary bag, and the precious coral rosary was finally returned to him.

I couldn’t snatch back the rosary that day. The King let us go to the lake house the next day. He said we could check out the KTD rooms and move down.

So we set off for KTD to pack our bags and prepared to move to the area near the King’s house. The King helped us arrange Uber. When we reached the gateway and were about to get into a car, the King and the fat security guard ran side by side from the other end of the bridge to my end. He said: “Running like this is good for health.” He said again that he would give me the third gift tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. However, he did not tell me specifically what the third gift was. Then Wanda and I got in the car.

1-11- Karmapa’s Orders always Changing

On April 2, 2018, at one o’clock in the afternoon, the King came out for brunch. I asked him: “I’m flying tomorrow with my return ticket. Do I need to stay in the US?” He asked me, “I haven’t told you already to stay?” Then he took me to a hidden place where no one else was there. He gently touched my chin with a finger and gently asked near my ear: “How old are you?” I replied: “I am one year older than you, I was born in 1984.” However, the signal that the King always gave me was to let me stay with him for a long term. In the afternoon on April 2, 2018, he said to me:

“Stay in the United States.”

But I told him that I had a working agreement signed with the Hong Kong Buddhist Association and my work has not been completed. He continued to eat while listening to me. Suddenly, he drew a line along my eyebrows with the other end of his chopstick and said “good-looking.” Suddenly, he said to me very seriously: “I will offer Master ‘$10 million.’” My friend and I, we both thanked the King for his kindness with our palms held together. He said: “I offer to seafood.”

Later, Karmapa let my friend and I follow the team to go shopping. He went to a famous shop of selling glasses to see sunglasses. Ashley, who wore a fashionable black British skirt and coat with sunglasses put on, followed the King, and helped the King to look for glasses. The King tried on different pairs of sunglasses and showed handsome looks. In that scene, I saw a handsome man and a pretty woman. I could only watch and smirk in the distance. Suddenly, the king gave me a sign to get closer to him. I was embarrassed to go to him. He suddenly changed his order and said,

“You go back to Hong Kong first.”

He asked me why I was holding a coat in hand. I said, “Because the weather is cold.”

1-12-Karmapa Liked Making New Girlfriends

We continued to go shopping and went to some art and stationery stores. Seeing Ashley helping him choose pen tips, her performance was quite professional. I saw him touching her hands, so I followed up. He went back and whispered but said to me harshly: “You go away.” At that time, I am reminded of the fact that in India in 2017, he also used an excuse of voluntary work to get close to me and touched my fingers. I asked him, “I can't add your Skype. We haven’t contacted yet.” He asked, “Why do you want to tell others?” I said, “Because I am anxious.” He said: “If you are anxious, jump into river; if you are not, wait for the death.” He repeated the same sentence:

“If you are anxious, jump into river; if you are not, wait for the death.”

Then he put a plastic fly into my hand. At that time, I wanted to rush out of the road and let a car crash on me. I now realize that that is a language violence that teaches suicide. In the evening, we went to eat Chinese food together, and Ashley sat naturally beside him. He kept making various jokes, including asking me to drink wine and eat meat. The Karmapa also ordered the lamb for me to eat. I didn’t listen to him. Later, the bodyguards ate up the mutton. My tofu rice was finished. I tried hard to act like meeting strangers for the first time and I became hypocritical and laughed.

1-13- Karmapa Good at Giving Helps

After dinner, we went back to the lake house. Ashley like a staff member could enter the lake house casually, and Wanda and I were banned from entering. However, our luggage was inside the house. The King helped me carry my luggage. I told him, “Will you appear at 9 o’clock tomorrow morning?” He said, “Yes.” Then he grabbed my hands and pulled back and said to me, “You. This bad thing.” Then the Karmapa was like locking handcuffs to a prisoner and sending the prisoner to a car. That night, it was very late to get into a hotel. We had to grab a good time to rest for a while, and we had to get up a bit earlier to go to the lake house to see the Karmapa the next morning.

Based on the above various reasons, experiences and emotional relationships over the years, I did not cut off the relationship with Karmapa in time, but I became more and more confused about the love of Karmapa, thus leading to a subsequent ambiguity. He continues to develop the intimate relationship with me in the result.

2-Proximate Causes

2-1-Karmapa Dismissed his Entourage

Because of the various backgrounds and entangled emotional relationships, when facing the fact that we are about to part, there might be attachment or reluctance to part. On April 3, 2018, my friend Wanda and I were ready to leave the United States for Hong Kong. We arrived at the lake house at 9:30 in the morning. The sex incident took place at a house in the Mohegan Lake, New York, in a private brown lake house. At about ten in the morning, the King came out to take us into his house. He locked the house door and left all his attendants and bodyguards out of his brown house. There were only Karmapa, my friend Wanda and I in the house.

2-2- Karmapa Made Human-Free Space

In the living room of the house, my friend asked the King for to give oral transmission of the White Tara practice. After the transmission done, he let me scanned his LINE scan code and he walked into another small hall to caress the guzheng, a musical instrument in his house, and I followed him to play his guzheng. Later, he let me get into his bedroom, and then he came after me to the room and closed the door and buckled it.

3- Process

Then, there were only Karmapa and I in his bedroom. We started to hug and kiss. He only wore a skirt on the day, with no underwear or trousers or shorts, and it was very convenient for him to have sex. He took off my pants and pushed me to the bed. He was on top of me. Immediately had a first sexual relationship with me missionary position. He moved very fast and didn’t wear a condom. I felt pain in my secret part. Perhaps as he was afraid to have kept my friend waiting too long in the living room alone, he left the bedroom in a hurry. He then left me alone in his bedroom, and I too left the bedroom after I was dressed. Later, after my friend Wanda and Karmapa took photos with me, the Karmapa ordered his person to drive us to the airport. My friend and I took away the lunchboxes made by his staff. The Karmapa and the fat bodyguard saw us off and we said goodbye to each other. Karmapa told Wanda that he would see her again in this life and told me that he would see me in the next life. Unexpectedly, his predictions were inaccurate. Wanda died in December 2018. It was the last time they met in this life, and there was no chance to see each other again; and I met him again in May 2018.

4- Impacts

4-1- Mental Distress

After the sexual relationship, I have had a lot of mental struggles. Since the sexual behavior is conflicting to the pure Dharma, I reflected on my own behavior, and I found I was very sinful, confused and regretful. When I was so lost in the relationship with the Karmapa, I even thought of suicide, and I was seriously troubled. Although I have not been a bhikshuni, I felt that the relationship was not good, so I was spiritually self-condemned in terms of ethics and morality.

4-2- Was Expelled from Nunnery

After returning to Hong Kong, I honestly told my real story regarding the sexual relationship with Karmapa to two of my masters. As a result, I was expelled from the nunnery and could not live with the Sangha community. I repented in front of the Buddha in the main hall and vowed never to commit the same mistake again, and stopped it.

The origination of the first sexual relationship with Karmapa, its process and its impact are completely described.

#Metoo

#Metoo in tibetan buddhism

#The karmapa sex scandal

The First Memoir on Karmapa's Abuse (karmaparapesbydeception.blogspot.com)

The tibetan buddhism is not the authentic buddhism，

they don't believe in karma and what they really want is money 、power and sex.